A little self care….

Today I spent a part of my day with my daughter. In the pre COVID days and before my mom came back to Jersey with me this was a regular event. Generally once a month or so ( leaning more towards the “ or so” ) we would have chick day. We would get our nails done, have our eyebrows waxed, enjoy an indulgent lunch and chat about everything and nothing. We have been doing chick days for as long as I can remember. There were tea parties in the yard, popcorn and movie afternoons, bike rides and picknicks and now nails, eyebrows and lunches in Philly. These days always left me feeling lighter and energized. They still do.
In this new world of caregiving and COVID I am constantly being told to remember my “self care”. People are always talking about being mindful, of remembering to do for yourself not just others. The amount of time and space being spent on the topic of self care is mind boggling. It appears to have become a trend to take a little time to smell the roses each day and all the self help gurus seem to have an opinion on how best to do it. There is lack of self help shaming put out there to the ones who do not follow the guidelines of the popular modes of care, ie the massage hour, the weekend getaway or the regular visits to the salon. If you are the primary caregiver to a family member in addition to your own nuclear family and you have a day job or two where do you fit in the self care time everyone is talking about?
I remember back in the day my mom and her neighborhood friends would get together for coffee while we all played outside. The coffeklatch, as they called it. Then there was the couple of years they all got together to go to a ceramics class once a week. We ended up with some very nice pieces from that, I still have a few. There were also those kitchen lady trips to the city or the casino, ladies only and no kids. Who knew these ladies were on the cutting edge of self care. We thought it was mom time.
I am an early riser, obscenely early if you ask my family, and this has always been my quiet time. It is the one time of the day when I am guaranteed not to be asked for or about anything ( mostly because everyone else is still sleeping). I have been doing this since my daughter was born. It is my time of day to center myself. My time to indulge my senses. My time to do whatever. Who knew that all these years I have inadvertently been practicing self care.
We all need a little time, a little space to exhale. A little wiggle room just to be without being. I think most of us take the moment without the label. The random 10 to 60 minutes spent on something other than parenting or overseeing someone else’s needs that we use use for that cup of tea, reading a chapter or two of a book , catching up on a favorite program or yes, even getting the manicure that has been put off for way to long. It’s the moment within a moment. It’s chick day. It’s a sunrise cup of coffee on the deck or an hour of spinning some of my favorite fiber. It’s the time spent not thinking. So, I guess I have been practicing self care without knowing it.
Let’s all keep taking the moments as they come to us and remember to smile when over your shared cup of tea your friend asks you if your remembering a little self care ….